Essay No. 122:
Marriage Is A Lottery: Marriage is thought to be a gamble in life. There is no guarantee that marriage would prove a success. It can prove is a success or a failure. There are fifty-fifty chances of its success or failure.
Couples that develop understanding between themselves lead a successful marital life. However, if they fail to adjust themselves to each other, their life becomes unbearable. If temperamental differences come out on the surface, life ceases to be pleasant. It is like two wheels of a carriage pulling in the opposite direction. In such cases, marriages prove a flop.
If husband and wife are educated, they can adapt themselves to any changed conditions. However, couples with rigid attitudes often find it difficult to pull on with each other. Life begins to hand on them. They are liable to lose temperament over trifle matters. To lead a marital life, it requires tolerance to put up with one another’s idiosyncrasies. Educated couples show this spirit and are able to overcome each other’s weaknesses through tolerance.
In authoritarian societies, marriages are celebrated much against the wishes of man and women. They are placed under the obligation to carry out the wish of their elders irrespective of their own choice. Marriages done under the tutelage of elders continue though in a haphazard manner in life.
In societies where joint family system prevails, marriages often suffer from forces of friction. If often leads to feuds of big and minor nature, which mar the tranquillity, harmony of life. Married life thus suffers reverses, much to the chagrin of couples. Even if couples wish to lead a happy life, they can’t do under the friction of family forces.
The influence of western culture has gradually crept into our society. The joint family system, especially in urban areas, has greatly cracked. Now in line with the Western traditions, on see nucleus families in urban areas. Couples when married seek separation from their parents and start living independently.
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The parents are not taken care of, who suffer from indifference on the part of their offspring. They lick the wounds of loneliness and other worries of life. There goes a saying that marriages are arranged in heavens. Can the responsibility of the failure of marriages be thrown on heavens? Does heaven wish marriages to flop?
The simple answer is that the responsibility of success or failure of marriage lies in man and woman, who are living together to procreate the human race and share each other’s joys and sorrows. A better way of making a marriage successful is to create a mutual understanding based on ‘give and take’ basis.
The husband should give due to allowance to his wife’s limitations and vice versa. It must be admitted that no foolproof answer can be given to predict the success or failure of a marriage. Marriage in the larger analysis turns out to be a lottery.